By Heena Modi on March 9, 2010

Have you ever heard the stories about how people who are from the generations before us had to work so hard?

I am aware that my race/ethnicity may make this story a different one from you own. Anyway the story I know is something like this: -

* My gran (Mangala) and her brothers and sisters struggled when they were young because their father, my great grandfather passed away at a very young age.
* My great grandmother’s eldest son (Vrathis) got married but he died within a few months.
* He and his wife hadn’t had any children as yet and my great grandma (Parvati) didn’t want her then daughter in law to be a widow for the rest of her life. She wanted to her to have companionship.
* I am so proud and amazed of this! She treated her like her own daughter, found a ’suitor’ for her, organised their wedding, paid for it and wished nothing but the best for her.
* My gran got married. My grandfather (Lalji) and my gran’s now eldest brother (Viryash) worked together to ensure there was enough money for the family to survive.
* I cannot begin to imagine or describe the hardships they endured.
* Anyway after a while all the children were married & settled. They had their own kids and so on.
* This brings me to my mum.
* Mum was here, in the UK.
* It was a different world to the one I know.
* My dad was in Tanzania so his family (brothers and sisters in law) went to meet my mum and her family. They liked her so they told dad to go ahead with marrying her.
* If I’m not wrong mum saw a photo of him and got her family’s approval when they asked about his background etc.
* Dad witnessed the madness when there was conflict with Idi Amin and others.
* Dad came to England and settled here with mum.
* They both had steady jobs but wanted to raise their game so they bought a shop.
* Dad travelled between Kenton and Chiswick on a daily basis. This took at least 45 minutes by car each way. He had to get there before 6 a.m. to manage the newspaper delivery, the paper-rounds etc. He’d lock up and leave for home at about 8/9 p.m.
* After 3 weeks dad got beaten up and robbed as he was locking up.
* We packed up and left so that dad wouldn’t have to lock up on his own, travel to and from Kenton and Chiswick, mum helped run the shop with him and so on.
* After that I remember that mum travelled from Chiswick to Harlesden on a daily basis to her place of work. Mum was an office clerk in Heinz. After she returned from work she helped dad in the shop.
* I changed the school I went to and we well and truly settled in Chiswick.
* Mum and dad had a green grocer on one side of their shop and an off license on the other. Between the 2 of them, they took it in turns to stock what we sold. It hurt the business badly so mum and dad were forced to compete with them.

So how does this connect to my opening question about ’stories about how people who are from the generations before us having to work so hard’? Well, how many people do you know who would start work at 6 a.m., run a business, go to the wholesaler to stock up, finish at about 11 p.m., work 7 days a week, work somewhere else part time too etc.?

I don’t know many.

I’m not sure if we’re lazy or just don’t want the same things. Perhaps we earn ‘enough’ money for us to manage without putting all of that effort in?

So what’s my story?

* I completed my education and began working as a learning assistant at a school for children with special needs. After encountering some racism and mind games there, I left.
* I joined another school for children and young adults with Autism.
* I enjoyed this work very much but dad had been diagnosed as having a terminal illness & I felt that I should train to teach, so I left that school as well.
* I decided to start a PGCE after which I worked as a teacher on a full time basis for about 8 years.
* After some reflection I decided to work on a part time basis by teaching 4 days of the week.

Now this is where the fun begins.

Some people asked WHY. Why have you gone part time? What are you doing with your time? Can you afford it?

It’s amazing, the number of people who may not usually speak, find it in themselves to ask quite personal questions. Others were as bold as brass and shared their opinion without being asked to.

So the way I look at it is that I don’t want to work, run myself into the ground, be tired all the time, have little time to do anything else, not be able to socialise much as it’s just impossible on a ’school night’ & before I know it I’ll be 40 and will feel like I missed out!

Thus if I could manage on the wage of a 4 day working week I’d be much happier. If I could survive and be comfortable, I was happy to spend less as long as I had more time to do other things. Thus I am no longer a wage slave or perhaps I am no longer a sheep.

I had the guts to do something different without doing it for socially acceptable reasons, such as, motherhood.

So what am I willing to do if I’m not willing to work the hours that my grandparents and parents worked? I’m willing to use my time to have quality time with those who are near and dear to me, reflect, attain more peace in my life, make time for hobbies and voluntary work and really appreciate what I have.

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